Solitude Therapy
Photo by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash
I just returned from a prayer retreat. It was brief…only about 24 hours. I went to a local Catholic retreat center and stayed in a small cottage that is situated on a beautiful nature preserve. This little old house is basically one room with a bathroom and a tiny kitchen. There is no TV. No Wifi. Just a couple of comfortable chairs, a bed to sleep in, and a fireplace. And it was glorious.
As president of Spirit & Truth and also a local pastor I am actively leading two organizations with lots of moving parts and staff. In all the demands of those roles, plus life as a husband and dad of three growing boys, busyness sometimes feels like a massive black hole with more gravitational pull than I can counter on my own accord. And it’s not just the physical busyness of schedules, it’s the mental busyness that is the hardest. It’s hard to turn my mind off. I’m always thinking, always planning, and always needing to accomplish something.
Here’s what I suspect. I am not alone. Your situation or stage of life may not be identical to mine, but busyness is the American way. Most church leaders I know…scratch that…most people that I know are overscheduled and don’t actually rest with the Lord.
Most of us do things that we think are rest, but they are really just ways to numb ourselves, not to actually be spiritually renewed. We have endless amounts of entertainment and distractions, but not much real rest. We are seldom alone with our thoughts or silent in prayer for any length of time.
As I was sitting alone in that little cottage I was reminded of a very simple truth. I need solitude. I desperately need undistracted time alone. (And by undistracted I mean time without my smartphone in arm’s reach. That stupid little box can suck me back into the world of busyness quicker than anything I know!)
When I am intentional about this practice, the fruit is amazing. During my short stay, I recorded seven pages of notes in my journal of things that I sensed the Lord speaking. I found clarity on some major decisions I am facing. I discovered new insights in Scripture I had never seen before. And I felt true peace. All in just 24 hours.
Towards the end of my time, I was reflecting on this retreat in my journal and I used a phrase I had never used before. I said the time had felt like “solitude therapy.” In fact, it was and I am realizing more than ever just how much I need it.
This should not be all that surprising. Jesus needed and modeled solitude. So what makes me think I can get by without it? Throughout the gospels we repeatedly see Jesus go off to be alone. In the wilderness after his baptism (Luke 4), after the demands of ministry (Mark 6), in times of grief (Matthew 14), or just generally to focus on prayer (Luke 5:16). Solitude was an intentional habit in the life of Jesus.
What would happen if you created a little more space for solitude and silence in your schedule this week? Could you block out even a couple of hours on your calendar, put your phone away, and just sit with the Lord? I dare you to try it. It may feel awkward at first. We are so conditioned by all the noise, notifications, and the next appointment. But if you choose to follow Jesus’ lead in this, I think you’ll find that solitude therapy may be something you need more than you even know.