Finding Identity in Christ Alone
Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash
Some of my earliest memories as a kid revolve around church and God. My family attended church every single week and we rarely missed. Unless someone was near death or we were on one of our very few family vacations, the Webers never missed church.
They’re not positive church memories, though. Instead they’re memories of trying to convince my parents I was sick and I shouldn’t go to church. Memories of mocking the pastor during the services as he led recited prayers. Memories of mindlessly counting the number of lights on our church’s sanctuary ceiling. Memories of being so relieved when the hour of torture we called church was over. I didn’t believe in God and I hated going to church. These are the memories I have as a seven and eight-year-old kid.
As I got older, my doubts and dislike for all things God only continued to grow. I was the most laid-back, easy going person you could meet, unless God came up in conversation. In high school I can remember being invited to a Bible study by a close friend and snapping at him,
“Are you nuts? We made it through confirmation already. Why would I ever go to more than the Sunday morning services my parents force me to go to? Please don’t ever ask me to go to that again!”
In an English class one day, someone brought up God and I quickly blurted out, “You’d have to be an idiot to believe in Jesus!” These are my memories as a sophomore in high school.
Later on during my sophomore year, my family would switch churches. I thought it was a terrible idea. That first Sunday in the new church was so different from anything I had ever experienced before. People actually seemed like they wanted to be there.
Each Sunday the pastor stood up and shared about Jesus. Instead of the words going over my head the words began to hit me right in the chest. This pastor wasn’t a high-energy, charismatic preacher, instead he was a simple, soft-spoken, kind man. During the messages I would find myself getting emotional and I couldn’t explain why. It felt he was talking directly to me and my family.
I wasn’t looking for Jesus. I wasn’t spiritual or even open to God. I wanted nothing to do with him and yet he wanted everything to do with me.
One particular Wednesday night, on my drive home from youth group, I arrived at the undeniable conclusion that God was real. I couldn’t believe it; I was shocked. I remember audibly speaking the words: “God, you are who you say you are, and there is no way that you would want anything to do with me! Nothing!”
It was deep joy—God, you are something I had unknowingly been searching for my whole life and now I’ve found you—that turned to grief—How could you ever love me?
There were all the years where I had spoken so poorly about God, mocking pastors, and being sarcastic with anyone who even mentioned God or Jesus in front of me. If someone made fun of me for years and then all of a sudden wanted to be my friend, I wouldn’t think twice about rejecting him or her.
There were so many things I wished I could take back. Why would God want me? I was so sure he didn’t.
One Sunday, my pastor was speaking about the love of God and he spoke words from the Gospel of John: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us.”
For the first time ever, my soul heard God whisper: “You are the one that I love.”
This is still the single hardest thing for me to believe about God. Not God’s existence. Not why evil exists in the world. Not why bad things happen to good people. Sure, I’ve asked and wrestled with these questions but not nearly as much as I have with God’s love.
The statement of God’s love goes against the idea many of us believe: We need to earn love. It goes against what the world tries to tell us: “Love comes from success, from earning the attention and validation of others.”
Although I know I don't need to earn God’s love I am regularly guilty of living like I do. I often strove to do enough for God. Do enough good things. Help enough people. Do enough religious things. Tell enough people about Jesus. Succeed in enough ways for God.
I will run and run and run and all the while God is speaking: You are the one I love.
It’s the truth that’s changed my life, my story, and I know it has the power to change yours, too.
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Being the one Jesus loves is great and all, but how do we actually begin to feel his love in our lives? How do we let this move from a nice Sunday School answer to our heart—to understand it the same way John did? How do we let it change us from the inside out? How we think of ourselves, how we think of other people, and who we think Jesus is to us?
I’ll be honest, it’s easier said than done.
But the truth is, we are, you are, I am—the one he loves. And embracing that love starts with understanding our story. Some of us are lucky enough (or maybe not so lucky) to have big, flashy stories that garner headlines and are remembered in history books. If that’s you, that’s awesome! Most of us probably don’t have stories that will be remembered by everyone forever, but we can be known as the ones Jesus loves.
When we know our own story—the good and the bad it can help us see God’s love more clearly. Go back, start at the beginning: What are some of the highlights in your life up to this point?
What are times when you felt encouraged, special, loved? On the flip side, what are the lowlights? What are the memories that you’ll never forget, good and bad? How have the highlights of your life affected the way you view and see the world? And how have you seen God at work in your life? Times when you felt close to God? Are there times before you even believed in God that you can’t explain the wonderful feelings you felt?
Believing that God loves us hinges on one thing: actually spending time with Jesus. Every day.
I know, super exciting and life-changing, right? Trust me, it is.
Believing that you’re the one Jesus loves starts with spending time with the one who loves you. Jesus. I’m not sure what that looks like for you, but for me it often looks like 10 minutes at a quiet coffee shop in the mornings after my kids are dropped off at school, taking a little time to just be still. No emails, no checklists, nothing, just Jesus and my Bible. Being still and asking God to speak. Sometimes I write out the things I’m worried and stressed about and ask him to carry them for me. Other times I worship in my car (singing at the top of my lungs), or I just sit on my front porch listening to the wind blowing through my maple trees in awe of God. He is the one who created all things.
Spending time with Jesus can look a million different ways:
Take a walk and pray as you look up at the sky.
Journal. Write down your thoughts and prayer requests to God.
Read a devotional in the morning or before bed.
Set a reminder on your phone to pray at certain times of the day.
We’re only able to fully believe that we’re the one Jesus loves when we find our identity solely in this truth, not from anything or anyone else. What do I mean by “identity?” It’s who you say you are. It’s what you think is the most important thing about you. To figure out on what you base your identity ask yourself some questions:
When I introduce myself, what are the first things I want another person to know about me?
What causes me stress?
When I fail, how do I feel? What is the one thing in my life that I never want to fail at?
What can I not live without?
What is one thing am I afraid people might find out about me?
Examine yourself, when you do, I’m certain you’ll find some areas that you’re placing your identity in other than Jesus. I know I have. I have a list of things! We’re human after all.
Once you find that area or areas that you’re basing your identity off of, take another step. Acknowledge it, to yourself and Jesus.
Ask God to help you:
Jesus, I give this area to you. I hand over control of it.
I no longer want my worth, value, or identity to come from it.
I want my worth to come from you. From who you say I am.
I want my identity to be founded in the great love that you have for me.
Whatever it is, do everything you can to find your identity in Jesus and only in him. When you do, I promise you’ll begin, maybe for the first time, to understand that you, yes you, are the one Jesus loves.
Adam Weber is the founder and lead pastor of Embrace, a multi-site church based out of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Author of Talking With God and Love Has A Name, he also hosts a podcast called The Conversation. Adam still cheers for the Cincinnati Bengals but no longer drives a Rambler. He’s married to his wife, Becky, and has four kids: Hudson, Wilson, Grayson, & Anderson. He also has seven chickens, two dogs, & three fish, but what he really wants is a sheep. You can find out more at adamweber.com.
